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Wait...why did I walk into this room?

August 28, 2018

 

I entered the kitchen this morning with a purpose. My stride was sure and posture was good. It was deliberate. There was intent. But, for the life of me, I couldn't recall why I was there. Standing in the middle of the kitchen, I spun in a slow circle, desperately hoping that something my eye fell upon would rekindle my suddenly failing memory.

 

Five minutes later...I've got nothing.

 

Did I need more coffee? No. Well, yes. I mean another cup is always a good decision. And yet, as I poured it, I felt that this was most decidedly NOT the reason I came into the kitchen.

 

Was I hungry? *Shrug* Meh.

 

Could there have been some dinner plan I was going to prep and put in the slow cooker? LOL...that's funny!

 

I was completely bumfuzzled! (Yes, that's a legit term. Seriously. Look it up. It's a real word)

 

Eventually I left the kitchen, none the wiser as to why I had entered it.

 

I would like to report that this morning's phenomenon is a rare experience. Sadly, I would be lying if I said that, not that you would know the difference. But I do try to be honest, expect when I don't feel like it. Or when I pull something out of my ass* at a moment's notice that may or may be based in reality but sounds like I really know what I'm blathering about (for more on that subject, see my blog on the Art of B.S.). *Not literally because...ew.

 

It seems that as I get older, these moments of premature senility are increasing. Or maybe it's just that my multitasking ninja skills are in a decline. Did you know that research shows women are better at multitasking than men? It's true. There's an article. I swear. I'm just clearly not one of the best examples.

 

Anyway, I have found that the best way to deal with the 'why did I walk into this room?' syndrome is to follow these guidelines:

 

Scenario 1:

There are other individuals in the room, or in the vicinity, who may or may not be watching you.

 

Complete an unobtrusive scan of the room to try to jog your memory (yeah, good luck with that) and then go into the fridge as though that was your destination in the first place. *Be sure to select something that you can easily eat or drink that won't result in the begging of younglings or the need to cook.

 

Scenario 2:

You are alone in the house. I know. The likelihood of this scenario is so miniscule that it's laughable.

 

Scan the room while walking through it to attempt the memory jog - this is more successful when muttering. Go over what you were just doing aloud. Chastise yourself for forgetting. Ask the dogs why the hell you walked in here. Ask the bird, too. When you've wasted all the time you're willing to give, stalk to the pantry and grab a cookie or piece of chocolate (Research shows that baked goods and chocolate aid in the memory functions of your brain. Yes, that's true. Yes, I'm lying. However, it'll make you feel better so grab a second helping).

 

If you follow these suggestions, you probably won't recall why you walked into the room. But at least you won't A) look like you're having a senior moment and B) you'll have a cookie to console you.

 

And, no. I never recalled why I entered the kitchen. It's going to remain an enigma. Maybe it could be the basis of an Unsolved Mysteries episode. Wait, do they still make those?

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