I’m not always a practioner of patience, though I do strive to be. In today’s society of instant gratification, it is challenging to travel against the tide of impatience and embrace the value of the journey. Too often, I find myself wanting to ‘skip to the end’ of whatever path I’ve put myself on. This is not a character trait that I want to perpetuate but find myself exhibiting in some circumstances of late.
(Truth be told, I sometimes feel the same way when someone is telling me a story that I lost interest in one minute into the telling, but I try not to let that thought bubble show.)
I’ve been particularly challenged over the last two weeks after entering my first novel, that precious thing I’ve nurtured for five years, into the Kindle Scout crowdsourcing platform. While I’m excited at the remote prospect of winning a publication contract, the unexpected outcome of this venture is my utter lack of patience. I find myself a tad obsessed with my stats. Okay, I’m completely obsessed. It has become such a fixation that I check the site multiple times a day, or hour, hoping to see my book in the coveted trending list. The disappointment I inevitably feel when it’s not there, amplifies my impatience and actually increases my obsessive behavior.
Of course this has carried over into my writing as well. While I give myself credit for putting in many evening and weekend hours of late, I also acknowledge that my attention often wanders from the story I’m composing to the stats I feel compelled to check. Well, they say half the battle is recognizing the problem and my self reflection has truly shown me that I need to change my mindset and embrace this journey. Success or no, the adventure is worth going through and learning from.
So I’m letting my impatience go and turning my attention to the journey. Of course, I will need to remind myself of this ad nauseam, but I accept this inescapable truth as part of my odyssey. Whatever the outcome of my campaign, my book will be published and I will continue on my path, richer for having gone through a struggle to reach my for my dream.