I’ve loved writing since middle school, or at least fully recognized my affinity for the written word beginning in those angst-filled years. For me, it began with English assignments that elicited a creativity I hadn’t explored prior to seventh grade. In stereotypical fashion, this developed into the teenage cliche of bad poetry. I wrote over a hundred poems throughout my teens, and at least 95% of them are awful. The other 5% aren’t good, but have some redeeming elements that rank them higher than fodder for the wood stove.
However, the quality and quantity of my initial efforts isn’t what is noteworthy. It is the fact that from those early fumblings of mediocre prose, came a true appreciation of and moderate talent for writing. And now I find myself in the infancy of my first, wobbly steps into the realm of publishing my work, with an acceptance of all of the intrinsic risks to my fragile belief in any inherent talent.
Blogging is my first step toward fulfilling a dream that I have quietly nourished since the age of 13. (On a side note, I hated being 13 and I lay the blame for many of my appallingly morose poems at the proverbial feet of that age.)
While blogging is the conduit to going public with my work, my true aspiration is to publish the book that I have been writing for the last few years and then begin work on my other book ideas. Like many new authors, I’m researching the array of opportunities for publishing and plan to self-publish. Admittedly, it is a bit frightening to be taking, what I consider, big steps toward fulfilling my vision and at times I begin to worry if I’m walking a path that will lead to success or crushing defeat.
I’m sure all authors have wrestled with this internal battle because our work is precious to us. I liken it to a child that we have hidden from the world and nursed privately, while holding it close to our breast. To suddenly release this creation from the safety of our arms, and allow it to see the light of day from which we have kept it sheltered, is both terrifying and exhilarating. I am on the precipice, looking down into a chasm that holds both loving arms that could nourish my creativity and needle-sharp teeth that could tear it apart.
I have taken the leap into this abyss by starting small and dreaming big. Through blogging, I am tentatively reaching out into the void for kindred spirits who willingly step into my life through the written word and perhaps find some commonality, or at least a bit of humor.
For those of you who also find yourselves yearning for what may seem an elusive fantasy, I encourage you to take those first steps toward grasping your vision and see where your path leads you.